Hana Yori Dango – the movie

As requested here is a detailed spoilerish summary of the movie.  This isn’t really like me, giving away spoilers.  But when one bashes, one needs material.  Bash? that’s what I intend to do.

Just to warn you, this post is overly nitpicking on details that were enjoyable to most.  It was not that bad for a kiddie movie.  It was cheesy as it was supposed to be, but I still can’t help but complain.  Because that’s what I’m good at.  Therefore, I highly discourage you from reading this post unless you’re a hater and you want some company on your side.

Hana Yori Dango Season two was sealed with a kiss but it was not the end.  What comes after a kiss for two high school kids college freshmen?  They get married.  This fact alone kinda bothered me.  No matter how I look at it, the marriage was so totally out of place.   It was so fast and sudden.  Gawd. It will work beautifully if one of them has a terminal disease.  That would really get a kick out of me. haha.  Anyway, I let it pass.  Indeed, you can only zip it into a they-lived-happily-ever-after-ending, if you end it with a wedding.  Oh, we’re not talking about ISWAK 2 – that one is milking it right from the root.  The first five minutes of the show is very promising.  They show us the couple on their way to Las Vegas.  It was very well shot to the point that it almost felt like it’s not Hana Yori Dango.  And then they bring us back two weeks before the present to explain how Tsukasa and Tsukushi found themselves driving in the middle of Nevada.

Makino and Domyouji gets engaged.  Upon their betrothal,  Tsukasa’s mother give them the Domyouji heirloom called “The Smile of Venus” which has four stones in it.   Each stone was named after a place: America’s hope, Hongkong’s tear, The love that floats in the Southern Sea , and the Secret of Ancient Times.  It was told that they can only guarantee their eternal love if they have this tiara in possession.

What do you know, the tiara gets stolen on the same night and we find Tsukasa chasing after a ninja guy, who seem to be taking his precious time to escape.  If I am a thief, I’ll get the hell out of there ASAP.  But this thief is not really a thief.  I can smell the setup right from the part where Tsukasa showed off his fighting skills.  What happened to the uberly strong boy I know?  Now, he can’t even deal with a single human? Jeez

And so begin the “for-better-or-for-worse” journey of Tsukasa and Tsukushi.  I told ya it was a set-up.  Bad news is,  it turned to be a “for-worse-and-for worst” kind of journey.

First stop is Las Vegas, America.

Gambling. Check.

Crappy English accent.  Check.  Actually,  Matsumoto’s accent cracked me up.  It’s confident and oozing “Domyouji”.

Fujiki Naohito.  Hell, yeah!  This is probably the nicest surprise in the movie.  My only consolation.

If you were sitting beside me, you’ll hear me laughing louder than usual.  It was funny, no doubt about that.  Makino and Domyouji are doing what they are best at: biting each other’s heads off.  But this time, their banters lost their luster and charm.  The more they are together, the more we realize that they are not as compatible as we were led to believe.  Domyouji is LOUD, STUPID and ROUGH.  It was the same in the drama, but somehow, the movie took away that hazy fog that makes him oh-so-lovable.  If I were in Makino’s shoes, I would have ditched him right there and then.  And gosh, do they really have to include *that* scene.  I mean, really, really, really?? It was clearly implied as we see him cover his you-know-what.  It was cute and dirty.

Next stop, is Hongkong.  Something happened here which has alienated me from Domyouji.  I’ll leave that for you to figure out.  I know that they’re setting up the plot such that everything might be in shambles right now, but they’ll fixed it up in the end.  The problem is it was never completely fixed. They tried to make amends on the third destination, but man…Survivors meets Cast Away?  Makino punching a tiger and they call it an epiphany!? Give me a break.  That’s just taking it too far with fiction.  Don’t even let me start on Matumoto’s mini-Baywatch commercial.

Somehow,  Matsumoto lost that “coolness” factor that Domyouji has.  In this movie, he was more like a nagging chicken ass.  Inoue Mao also has her own demerits.  If you watch too much of her, she’ll get in your nerves sooner or later.  Now, if you watch her drama, First Kiss, it won’t even take a whole minute for the pain to sip in.

If there is one worthwhile scene, I would say it was the touching moment with Tsukushi’s parents at the final destination. The wedding itself was cute and beautiful.  There was a “big” surprise on Rui’s part.  Ridiculous but endearing.  The other F3 can declare themselves safe from my bashing.  It’s nice to see them all again together in one place.  Too bad they couldn’t get the beautiful Matsushima Nanako for this film.  Domyouji Tsubaki absent from her little bro’s wedding!? Impossible, right?

I’m not going to actively dissuade you from watching this movie.  But don’t have high expectations like I did.  You’ll definitely laugh, but you’ll be groaning inside.  It’s cheesy in all sorts of places.  It’s over the top and childish at times. I also can’t help but get distracted with the multiple times that Matsujun lifted up Mao from the ground.  Oh boy,  I hope your arms don’t snap into pieces.

Do not wait for a sequel because I guarantee you this is the final installment of the series.  Unless they want to do some family drama out of HYD…no, please. God, No.

Thanks to SARS for the video!